Sunday, August 12, 2012

Heart Break

My Grandmama took her last breath on August 13th but officially she died on August 14th.
I wasn't ready for her to leave me.
She should be here talking baby stuff with me.
She was supposed to teach me how to make homemade buttermilk biscuits.
My Grandmama was my favorite person.
My relationship with her reminds me of Juliana and my Mamas.
she always called me her little darlin.
she told me I would always be her little darlin the day before she passed.
I hate to think of her being past tense.
she should be here now.
I should be able to call her and tell her how much I love her and to keep fighting because I don't know how I'm going to live without her.
how does someone live without one of the most important people?
I think I've experienced the worst  heart break when I lost my Grandmama.
She is now looking over me and is always with me.
She is making sure my littlest man is okay.
I pray she visits me in a dream.
I need a hug from her.
I need to talk to her.
I need to hear I love you from her again.
I just need her.